Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. *U* These 32 tweets from 2019 were so good they got more than 100,000 retweets. me: if you drink this coffee you’re gonna get jittery and anxious and you’re gonna feel sick later. Do you remember when your mom would take you shopping and you would come home and do a “fashion show” for your dad who was half asleep on the couch and would give you a nod and a “very nice” for every outfit or was that just my family. Here's the new way you fold towels. ELLEN: so i hear u tweet about wanting to die 7 yr old me: do u ever wanna take a nap but the nap doesn’t wanna take u, When I have no idea how to comfort my friends but I try anyway, level 1: venting by crying Wife: Wanna fool around tonight? Wife: Me: Surely nothing can be that funny? 100 level course prof: Attendance is mandatory, no phones allowed, 12 hours of homework/week, also we have 5 exams and one is in 9 days 9 of 41. ┃┃╱╲ in Router: https://t.co/6adCjXpMgm. level 10: venting by faking a conversation in your head with someone MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves Funny Tweets. Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter. 100 level course prof: Attendance is mandatory, no phones allowed, 12 hours of homework/week, also we have 5 exams and one is in 9 days 500 level course prof: I … ╱╱╭╮╲╲ house 14 of 41. Reporting on what you care about. And they marry each other. Me: Just giving you a show. when u carry ur pet to ur room n it walks out https://t.co/GDLi7Yta9e, Girls don’t actually shop we just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’, dogs are so intelligent that they can assist the blind with daily tasks. me: why? Wife: That movie doesn't exist. Husband, from coffin: ᵀʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ʷʰᵃᵗ ˢʰᵉ ˢᵃᶦᵈ. Obsessed with travel? Check out even more. Submit Tweet me at 18 y/o: illiterate, health is nonexistent, and needs a calculator to solve 6+8. an intellectual: odd gloat but understandable nonetheless white woman’s kitchen: 17 of 41. Funny 3 years ago. BuzzFeed. Husband: *completely and utterly silent* 3 of 41. They're both hilarious and relatable at the same time! was gluten free Wife: Are you just going to walk around all day without a shirt on? Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO? Literally Just 100 Funny Tweets That Sum Up Parenting "Currently helping my son search for his chocolate that I ate last night." 10 of 41. i said that out loud and my furniture started floating Listen: I just found out that my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon so I can’t listen to your problems right now. May 21, 2019 - Explore AJ's board "Buzzfeed Funny" on Pinterest. "hello, is there anyone there" My husband: We were way over on groceries last month. Me : I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally graduated from Art School. O when tinkerbell started dying because she didn’t get enough attention...... i felt that, When someone is getting in trouble and the teacher says "The next person who laughs is getting sent to the office", water is rly that bitch. The ones that pack six days before a trip, and the ones that wake up day-of and realize they need to do a load of laundry. A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. by Asia McLain yall seen that movie about the rat that can cook. Obsessed with travel? Please send help. BuzzFeed has breaking news, vital journalism, quizzes, videos, celeb news, Tasty food videos, recipes, DIY hacks, and all the trending buzz you'll want to share. Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said she’d buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. ┃╱╱╲╲ this like she did NOT have to go that hard. This terrible mistake has now been rectified. Do you ever just feel like a rotisserie chicken? ME: omg ellen you didnt, if I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed. ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ The women of Twitter never cease to amuse us with their well crafted, funny Tweets. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Me, “A bottle of champagne.” and there are no winners. Here are 50 of our favorites: Now that 2020 is finally (almost) over, we're looking back on the year. told my boyfriend I was going to start my period and he said, "AGAIN??" Husband: Does it bother you when I — Me: PSA: Don't EVER let your printer know that you've waited until the last minute to print something out and you're in hurry because they can sense fear. Here are some of the funniest tweets: ▔▏┗┛▕▔ we I miss how my wife would say “he’s a rescue” whenever I misbehaved at parties. L && Follow the author of this article. me, a genius: peculiar boast but alas. 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